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December 14, 2012

My Front Porch

Girl, is so nice of you to come and visit an old lady. Don’t sit down here, the heat in here is something else. Let’s sit on the front porch and catch some sea breeze.

Ah, this is better. Herbert, that’s my grandson, says I mus’n’t sit out here anymore. Crime so bad now. Time was when I used to go to work and leave my back door unlocked and no one would bother me … except Meg, that’s my neighbor. That woman used to behave like my kitchen was her own personal grocery. She was always over here borrowing one thing or another. But is alright because whenever she baked banana bread, she used to send two loaves for me and they were so sweet, I didn’t mind her borrowing at all.

You hear that noise? Soun’ like gun shots! All yuh young people killing each other again? And in broad daylight, too? I really hope Meg grandson not involved. They say I mus’n’t talk about him, but I don’t care if he is a big time ba’john. I used to change his diapers and I not afraid o’ he at all. This is my house and I’ll say what I want.

It’s a real shame, though ….

Wait. Police siren passing. Something big must ‘a’ happen in truth, if the police reach so fast.

What was I was saying? You know my head not so good anymore. I was saying ‘it’s a shame’ … what was a shame? Oh yes, Matthew. He was a sweet boy those days and Meg was all he had. His mother went to America and never sen’ for him. No one knows where his father is. Meg did everything for that boy and he turn and became the worst kind of hooligan. And to make matters worse, he’s still living under her roof. Not that I’m minding anybody’s business, but last week, de police were at her door almost every day. An old lady like she should be enjoying retirement; instead she locked up in her house afraid of the police and afraid of her own grandson.

What you looking at? You know mih eyes bad. Oh yes, I see them. They running this way. Quick, help me get inside before I get hit by a stray bullet for Herbert to say “I told you so.”

Phew, thank God we make it inside. Move let me peep through the curtain here. What a way that looks like Meg’s grandson running there. He dangerous now, you know. Started hanging out with those fellas on the corner, spending the whole day on the steps by the rum shop. Meg used to caution him all the time. Then one day, just three months ago he pulled his gun on her. Told her if she didn’t stop lecturing him, he would use it. She came over here that day and she cried right here in the front room until she had no more tears. Since then she hasn’t come back. Her curtains always drawn and I haven’t had even one slice of banana bread. I’m so sorry for her. It’s better for me, though. The doctor says I getting too fat and I have to watch my sugar.

But wait, who’s that chasing Matthew? I’s not the police. Who’s that woman holding up her skirt and running behind him. It looks like Meg! Move over again, let me see properly. Well, look my crosses, is Meg in truth. I never thought she could move so fast! Look, look, she catch him and dragging him up the front porch; she hitting him with her handbag! Oh, ah goin’ die laughing. I know it’s not funny but listen to that boy scream.

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