Not Political…
Me: I saw my first Trump bumper sticker last night. It said ‘Hispanics for Trump.’ Younger child: Really…I wonder how many of those they’ll sell.
Tattooed
Me: (After one two many fellas ogled my youngest as we walked through DC) I’m going to tattoo ‘I’m only 12’ across your forehead. Youngest: So, what I’m hearing is that I can get a tattoo? Me: Yes, as long as it’s on your forehead and says ‘I’m only 12’.
History of School
Older offspring: Whoever invented school was really dumb. Younger offspring: Yeah, because they didn’t go to school.
Judging a Book
Me (always full of original wisdom): You can’t judge a book by its cover. Youngest: Unless it’s the back cover.
Math Works
Oldest: They asked my opinion on the math test? Me: Really? Oldest: Yes, they asked ‘What do you think is the next number in the sequence?’ I didn’t agree with any of the four answers they gave so I added e) and put my answer.
For Sale
Oldest sings (to the tune of Do You Want To Buy A Snowman Do you want to buy a sister? Just 20 cents will do! Sigh.
Slave to Fashion
So my youngest gets in the car after school and takes off MY shoes with a sigh. I look at her feet and the shoes have left an imprint on her feet. Me: Do the shoes hurt your feet? Youngest: Yes, but they look so GOOD! Clearly that sort of …
Goals
Oldest: I’m so torn, I can’t decide if to save my money to upgrade my drum set or to buy a long board. Youngest: I know what you mean. It’s hard. Every month I start saving for college and then I spend it all. I’ve got to get her a copy …
Superwoman
Me (After describing a project that I wanted us to try): It can’t be rocket science. Youngest (Having heard me use the term umpteen times): Mommy, what’s rocket science? Me: (Some explanation which clearly was not very good because she comes back with …) Youngest: Oh … you could do rocket science, Mommy. (Got that …
Bring Back Our Girls
Oldest (on hearing that the US government would be assisting Nigeria with finding and releasing the kidnapped Nigerian girls): We are going to help? Me: Yes Son (proudly): I posted the (Bring Back Our Girls) image on my profile and all of my followers liked it. Except two …. I need to …