Category: Heard on the Backseat

Me: So how much does it cost? Oldest: $230. Me: How much money do you have? Oldest: $110 Me: So how much do you need? Oldest: $120. (Pause) That’s why I hate math, it’s so disappointing.  

Me (after getting an important reminder from my youngest): What would I do without you? Youngest: I really don’t know!

Oldest’s response to the April call for submissions for the Caribbean Christmas anthology:       Mom, ’tis not the season to be jolly.

After I expressed confusion during a conversation with my youngest. Think about what I said, Mommy. There were many context clues.

Younger child while reading George Orwell’s Animal Farm says with disgust:     Now they’re acting like humans! Me: And this is a bad thing? Her:     Yes! (Thank goodness she plans to be a vet and not a “people doctor”.)

Youngest: (After I expressed concern that a snack might have artificial colouring) There’s no colouring, it’s all natural mom. That’s probably why it tastes so weird.

Oldest: If everyone is special then no one is special. It’s like highlighting every single word in your book as being important. It makes no sense.

Oldest: (After my–clearly flawed–explanation of how daylight saving time works)      So the government controls the sun?

Oldest: Everything is better with music.

My very active but less coordinated child:     Mommy, I want to play a sport. Mommy (happy but surprised):     Really, what sport? Child:     Any sport. Mommy:     Why do you want to play a sport? (Clearly the question I should have asked first.) Child:      I saw some …

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