Me: How much money do you have?
Me: So how much do you need?
Oldest: $120. (Pause) That’s why I hate math, it’s so disappointing.
Me (after getting an important reminder from my youngest):
What would I do without you?
I really don’t know!
Oldest’s response to the April call for submissions for the Caribbean Christmas anthology:
Mom, ’tis not the season to be jolly.
After I expressed confusion during a conversation with my youngest.
Think about what I said, Mommy. There were many context clues.
Younger child while reading George Orwell’s Animal Farm says with disgust:
Now they’re acting like humans!
And this is a bad thing?
(Thank goodness she plans to be a vet and not a “people doctor”.)
Youngest: (After I expressed concern that a snack might have artificial colouring)
There’s no colouring, it’s all natural mom. That’s probably why it tastes so weird.
Oldest: If everyone is special then no one is special. It’s like highlighting every single word in your book as being important. It makes no sense.
Oldest: (After my–clearly flawed–explanation of how daylight saving time works)
So the government controls the sun?
Oldest: Everything is better with music.
My very active but less coordinated child:
Mommy, I want to play a sport.
Mommy (happy but surprised):
Really, what sport?
Why do you want to play a sport?
(Clearly the question I should have asked first.)
I saw some sports clothes I really loved.
(Universe shifts back into place)